Herbal Allies for Grief, Sadness and Those Heavy Days.

There are days when grief feels sharp and clear, tied to a loss I can name. And then there are those other days, the ones where I wake up heavy for no reason at all. The sadness doesn’t have a story. It just sits in my chest, in my belly, in my bones.

Both kinds of sadness are real. Both deserve care. And plants have long been companions I reach for in these tender spaces.

Herbs don’t erase my feelings. They don’t make grief go away. What they do is sit with me. They open a little more space to breathe. They soften my edges so I can keep walking through. They remind me that even in sorrow, I will see days that are filled with joy and fullness.

When navigating darkness, here are some of the herbal allies I reach for. Who bring me comfort in times of grief and in those shadowy days of low mood.

🌿 Passionflower

This beautiful vine is like a gentle hand on the forehead when my mind will not stop spinning. Passionflower helps quiet the noise so that my emotions can actually move through, instead of getting stuck in loops of worry or overthinking. Spiritually, she connects me to rest and stillness, reminding me that surrender is healing.

Science also shows me that passionflower supports GABA, the calming neurotransmitter that slows my nervous system down. That makes it especially helpful when grief or sadness is interfering with my much needed sleep.

🌼 Chamomile

Chamomile is the comforter. She carries a sweetness that reaches right into my inner child, the part of me that just wants to feel safe and held. She can ease irritability, soften the knots in my stomach that come with sadness, and bring a sense of warmth back into my body.

And then, on a chemical level, chamomile contains apigenin, a natural substance which binds to GABA receptors and helps calm both my body and mind. It’s a simple herb, but in times of grief, simple is sometimes exactly what I need.

🌱 Lemon Balm

Lemon balm feels like sunshine through a cloudy sky. She lightens the spirit when sadness grows heavy and stagnant. She clears the solar plexus and heart spaces, bringing a gentle reminder that joy is not gone forever, even if right now, it feels far, far away.

Science tells me that lemon balm helps stop the breakdown of GABA, which means it helps me stay calmer for longer. She’s also been shown to support focus and clear thinking, which can get muddy when grief fogs my mind.

🌼 Linden Leaf and Blossom (Tilia spp.)

Linden carries the soft energy of peace and reconciliation. When grief tightens my chest and lungs, linden brings cooling, calming flow through those spaces. Energetically, she clears heaviness from the aura and invites breath and light back in.

Scientifically, linden has been shown to contain flavonoids and volatile oils with gentle sedative effects. Traditionally she has been used to calm anxiety, lower blood pressure, and ease tension headaches — all common companions of prolonged sadness.

🌙 Skullcap (Scutellaria lateriflora)

When grief makes me porous to the emotions around me, skullcap helps restore boundaries. She is a cloak for the nervous system, giving protection and stillness. Spiritually, she aligns the throat and third-eye chakras, making it easier to express grief honestly and see it with clarity.

On the scientific side, skullcap increases GABA receptor activity, , quieting down my central nervous system. She has been shown to reduce rumination and support sleep quality, which so often suffers when sadness runs deep in my body and soul.

🌱 Tulsi (Holy Basil)

Tulsi is considered sacred for good reason. She clears heavy energy, restores perspective, and lifts my heart toward hope. She reminds me that grief and sadness exist in the wider landscape of life, and that meaning can still be found, and must be found, if I am to recover myself again.

As a gentle adaptogen, tulsi comes to help lower my cortisol and balances my stress responses. Studies also suggest that she has a mild antidepressant effect. She's a plant that meets both my soul and the chemistry of my body.

Beyond Herbs

Grief and sadness are whole-body experiences. Herbs are powerful allies, but they work best when supported by other gentle practices. Here are a few I lean into:

Sitting with myself:  I allow my feelings to be present without trying to rush them away. Sometimes placing a hand on my heart or belly and simply breathing can be enough.

Connecting with my inner child: When emotions feel raw and perhaps rooted in my childhood, I visit my little one. Offering reassurance, gentleness, and unconditional permission to feel.

Walking: Moving the body helps emotions move too. Walking in nature, and being in my garden, especially, brings rhythm back to my nervous system and helps my energy flow.

Diet for low mood:

Omega-3 rich foods like flaxseeds, chia, walnuts, and oily fish support my brain and mood health.

Magnesium-rich foods like leafy greens, pumpkin seeds, and cacao nourish the nervous system.

B-vitamin foods like eggs help regulate my mood chemistry.

I try to avoid excess sugar and processed food, which can spike and crash my mood even more.

Grief as a Teacher

It can feel cruel that grief is part of being human. Yet grief is also proof that I loved, that I cared, that something mattered. Sadness is not a flaw in me. It is a thread in the tapestry of being alive.

On the hard days, let plants sit with you. Let food nourish you. Let breath move you. Grief and sadness are not things to fix, but things to honor. And with the help of our herbal allies, we can keep walking through them, one step at a time.

Kim x